Entering our pain means doing hard, gritty inner work, because much of our pain is buried deeply inside of us. Unconscious.
Inner work has to do with the deepest recesses of our mind, heart, and feelings. Memories and traumas. Shadows. The parts of ourselves that are too often judged and suppressed, but that MUST be looked at and integrated in order to live fully.
After coaching such a beautiful variety of people over the past several years, I’ve found that deep inner work is a must BEFORE anyone can effectively create with their thoughts, manifest desires, and take “massive action” on their goals.
You can’t build a beautiful and strong house if you don’t even know what kind of ground you’re standing on.
So many people want to skip over the deep and dirty work. The shadow work. The inner child work. The healing work. It’s too painful, too scary, too shameful.
The mainstream spirituality and personal development industry (as much good as it has done in empowering people) has convinced us that we can positive-think away our sorrows and dissatisfaction.
We can’t.
Trying to is what is called “spiritual bypassing.” The man who coined the term, John Welwood, defines it as “a widespread tendency to use spiritual ideas and practices to sidestep or avoid facing unresolved emotional issues, psychological wounds, and unfinished developmental tasks.”
I’ve engaged in spiritually bypassing for much of my life. Until my pain became too hard to ignore. Until the dark goddess roared from within me. Until a soulmate held a mirror up to me. Until I began to heal my childhood conditioning.
I suddenly realized how much more life has to offer when I’m radically honest with myself — with my wounds, with my gifts, with my true desires.
I’ve gathered some valuable resources for those of you who want to learn more about spiritual bypassing and the inner work that’s the key to ending our suffering:
This article by John Welwood is long but PROFOUND and well-worth the read.
This video interview with Sonia Choquette is what has confirmed to me that inner work is a HUGE missing piece in the spiritual and self-help world. Despite being a renowned spiritual teacher and intuitive, Sonia talks about how for years she swept painful emotions and traumas under the rug…until the bottom finally fell out.
This video with Teal Swan is one of the best teachings on inner child work that I’ve seen. It’s recommended viewing for anyone who’s interested in working with me, as we dive deeply into this exact process.
If you’re ready to be supported through the pain and into the light, I invite you to schedule a free 30-minute Breakthrough Session with me here.
You said all of the above beautifully. For me what I have learned is that if I am not aware of my own inner history–joys and pain–I will get triggered without even realizing it and react from that space with no awareness for the present moment, something which does not best serve myself or those around me.
Yes! I’ve also had that experience before (many many times). The lack of awareness of what the true “trigger” is (always something in our history, not in our present) can be so painful because it leads to confusion and this feeling of being out of control. Thank you so much for your comment, Mo!
I could not agree with you more. Inner work is the foundation of everything, it was the base of my own healing journey and this is the main foundation of my coaching work as well. Inner work never stops either. There are always new layers to discover and to peal.
You’re so right, Kat. It never stops. 🙂 So happy to hear you’re supporting others in this process as well. Where can I learn more about your work?