Exodus and the Psychology of Liberation

I recently had my mind wondrously expanded while listening to scholar and author Avivah Zornberg speak about the Exodus story on the radio show, On Being. The original episode is no longer available, but here is another episode that’s equally enlightening.

Zornberg’s magical observations remind me how many complex spiritual and psychological layers are woven into our most cherished religious myths; lush layers which are just waiting to be uncovered, meditated upon, and reveled in by the maturing, awakening reader or listener.

But Moses said to God, “Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?” Exodus 3:11

Self-Doubt and Refusing the Call

Zornberg first brings our attention to the back-and-forth dialogue in Exodus between Moses and God, a negotiation which, according to Hebrew midrashic commentaries, goes on for seven entire days. It’s a rather humorous thought to imagine this ever-so-mortal man arguing so fervently with God, refusing his words over and over again. I mean, it’s not like God is commanding Moses to throw himself into the burning bush. Instead, God is telling Moses how to lead his suffering people into freedom, with the power of His Divine assistance, no less. But Moses keeps saying no, protesting that the Israelites will not believe him, that they will surely not follow him. He is essentially refusing to take on the role of a leader, a divine purpose that God Himself is bestowing on him.

Here’s the part that particularly fascinates me: Moses’ primary reason for refusing to take on the call of liberating his people is that he feels unable to speak to them; he feels incapable of using his voice well enough. He says to God (in common translations), “I am slow of speech and tongue.” Zornberg notes that the Hebrew word often translated as “slow” actually literally means “heavy.” “Heavy” is also one of the Hebrew words used in Exdous to describe the Pharaoh’s heart, which has been hardened (by God, for the purpose of displaying His power) against the Israelites.

So, due to a heavy tongue, Moses initially refuses to lead his people out of slavery; he does not want to take action. And due to a heavy heart, the Pharaoh refuses to release the people from their enslavement; he does not want to let go. It is only when God allows Aaron, Moses’ brother, to join the grand plan by serving as Moses’ mouthpiece that Moses agrees to see the Pharaoh.

Note: Many scholarly and rabbinic interpretations suggest that Moses has a speech impediment, but one can only guess at this. If anyone can point to clear evidence in the text for this, I’d like to check it out.

Moses said to the LORD, “Pardon your servant, Lord. I have never been eloquent, neither in the past nor since you have spoken to your servant. I am slow of speech and tongue.” Exodus 4:10

Fear of Speaking One’s Truth to Others

Recently I’ve been alarmed by how much my throat chakra has been acting up. It is especially noticeable when I’m honing in on the vision for my work and business, which feels to me a very open and public affair. I’m very aware that these throat chakra issues are happening during a period in which I am preparing to take action. As I contemplate how to BE and EXPRESS in the world, my throat often tightens up dramatically. It’s a powerfully visceral sensation, and somewhat painful.

It’s one thing to be and express oneself in solitude, and it’s quite another to be and express oneself in relationship to other humans. This expression involves using one’s voice (literally and figuratively) and knowing that it is going to be received, one way or another.

In Exodus, Moses fears this kind of public expression. He points to his inadequate speech as the reason for refusing God’s call. He tells God that the people will surely not believe him, they will surely reject his fantastical words about the power of the Divine to free them from slavery (oh, the metaphors!).

At the most basic level, Moses is scared that no one will listen to him.

Moses answered, “What if they do not believe me or listen to me and say, ‘The LORD did not appear to you’?” Exodus 4:1

Vulnerability and Faith

Surveys consistently rank fear of public speaking above all other fears that people possess. In my coaching experience, I’ve also noticed that the fear of speaking one’s truth is one of the most common sources of pain or hesitation for clients. Whether it’s being open with a new romantic partner about one’s deepening affection or really owning one’s unique creative vision in business, there is something about expressing personal truth to others (whether to one person or to many) that is very scary for us. Particularly when we feel unsure about how others will respond. It is an utterly vulnerable space to dwell in.

Think about it. We’re generally not afraid to speak up in situations where:
a) we’re pretty sure how people will respond a.k.a. we feel in control, or
b) we don’t give a crap how people will respond.

But when we DO care (and as humans, we tend to care deeply) there is intense vulnerability in that psychological state of not knowing how people will react and receive our words.

I feel that this is the moment where faith plays a huge role — faith in one’s true Self (inherent worth, gifts, purpose), and/or faith in something greater than one’s limited self (God/Goddess, Source, Universe, Buddha-nature, etc.).

If this faith is not aroused, we usually choose to stay closed. We refuse to speak. We remain in self-imposed slavery.

Faith gives us the courage to project our voice out into the world, to speak our Truth.

Arousing the Capacity to Be Redeemed

One of the most fascinating aspects of the Exodus story that Zornberg points out is the sense of fear, hesitation, and skepticism that both Moses and the Israelites feel before and during their journey out of Egypt — that is, before and during their transition from slavery into freedom.

This observation opens the question about who is actually keeping the Israelites enslaved. Or as Florence and the Machine puts it in one of my favorite songs “Who is the lamb and who is the knife?” After all, God is responsible for hardening the heart of Pharaoh so that he refuses to let the Israelites go, but there is no indication that God is preventing Moses or the Israelites from speaking or believing. That is an endeavor that they themselves must take on, and eventually, overcome.

The LORD said to Moses, “When you return to Egypt, see that you perform before Pharaoh all the wonders I have given you the power to do. But I will harden his heart so that he will not let the people go.” Exodus 4:21

Zornberg notes, “Moses is very sensitive to the problem that he has and that he senses the people also have.” The problem she refers to is their difficulty opening up to God, and therefore, to the opportunity for freedom and redemption. Moses actually describes his limited speech capacity as having “uncircumcised lips” (aral s’fatayim). This image speaks, in a remarkably sexual manner, to a stance or relationship of closure to the world, and to God.

Zornberg further observes:

So the whole situation as I understand it as the story begins is not a simple one of a cruel, persecuting Pharaoh and poor, helpless victims. It’s poor, helpless victims who will need in some way to arouse within themselves the capacity to be redeemed, that is to open themselves to relationship, to communication. I’d like to suggest that the whole story really is about the need for the people to be more than an object that has to be yanked out of Egypt. But for the people to become, to acquire the kind of life and openness and communicability that makes them want to emerge from that place of death which is Egypt.

Zornberg is eloquently highlighting a major symbolic aspect of the Exodus story: the incredible resistance that human beings have to their own redemption — and the utter FREEDOM and hence, daunting personal responsibility that that redemption entails. She suggests that this resistance is often due to an “unwillingness to open oneself up to an alternative reality.” We often have difficulty believing or trusting that change is really possible. And so we often choose to remain in darkness.

The Possibility of Change

Zornberg remarks:

I think one of the important issues . . . is the need for those who have to be liberated to achieve in themselves some sense of the possibility of change. . . So it seems to me that the story of the Exodus is one in which, in a quieter way, but I think in a very real way, one of the most important themes for liberation is the need for a process of growth within the persecuted if they are to have a history.

Yes, growth. Inner growth. Openness to change. And faith. I believe these are all precursors to the liberation of the soul —- the transformation of a human being from someone who is bound by childhood conditioning, social expectations, and self-imposed limitations to someone who is truly unbound, free to create and live his wildest dreams.

I believe we are all undergoing this journey, and the greatest obstacle is not an outer “Pharaoh”, but rather our own heaviness of tongue and heaviness of heart. The Exodus story actually seems to make this very clear.

What are we afraid of? What is so scary about liberation? This is such a fascinating question, and one that I ask myself so often as I open myself up more and more to the notion that I am already free.

No one is holding me hostage. The door is unlocked. Why do I sometimes find myself hesitant to step into this freedom?

I ask. I listen for the answers within. I gather the courage to change.

Each moment of conscious breathing, of meditation, of rapturous dance, of opening my heart to Love, is like a circumcision for me.

Opening me up to God.

To myself.

To the world.

May all beings be happy and free.