I believe that exploring our ancestral roots is necessary in order to gain a broader understanding of who we are, to heal lingering intergenerational trauma, and to access our power to create a new reality.
If certain members of our family (especially in recent three generations) did not have the inner and outer resources to process the traumas and life challenges they lived through, the emotional and energetic imprints of their unresolved experiences will be passed on to us.
Family Constellations is a therapeutic modality which can be used to heal ourselves, through returning order to the whole family system. It was developed by Bert Hellinger in the 1950s. He lived in South Africa for 16 years, observing the ways of the Zulu tribes, and saw that the key to healing and harmony within family and community systems is respect of the natural order.
Check out my 20-minute video for a brief introduction of ancestral work and Family Constellations.
There are 3 major “orders” that family systems are naturally oriented towards:
- Parents are big. Children are small. Parents give. Children receive.
- Everybody in a family belongs to the family. No one may be left out.
- Everybody has to carry his own life, fate, and death.
When certain events (war, untimely death, illness, slavery, accidents, suicide, abortion, miscarriage, forced emigration, dramatic financial loss or gain) are not able to be processed in a healthy way within a family, they become TRAUMAS, and these healthy “orders” get disrupted.
Often children take on the giving/parenting role. Often a family member attempts to take on the tragic fate of a member from the past who was rejected or forgotten (due to the pain and lack of resources to deal with it).
With the support of Family Constellations, and any deep healing work which expands awareness and acceptance, order can be restored, and the flow of Love returns to the system.
Here are Healing Statements for each of the 3 “orders”:
ORDER ONE
I am your daughter / son.
You are big. I am small.
I take life in its fullness from you.
You are the right mother / father for me.
ORDER TWO
Dear X, for today and all the days to come, I see you, I hear you, I recognize you.
I give you your place back in our family system.
You belong.
[Healing movement: Bowing]ORDER THREE
I respect you and the force that guides everything.
I honor your fate. I know that you are strong enough to carry it on your own.
Dear X (mother, father, grandmother, grandfather), please bless me if I have the courage to be happier than you.
I leave you now to your destiny, and I face mine.
[Healing movement: Turning around and facing Life]Note about these healing sentences:
Simply repeating them in the mind does not enact healing. The healing comes from conscious inner exploration, radical shifts in perspective, and a genuine movement of the heart/emotions. This usually takes place with the supportive and intentional container of group work or one-on-one work with a qualified guide.