WHAT IS THE SHADOW?
The shadow refers to the parts of ourselves which we hide, deny, or reject. It begins to develop in childhood during the process of socialization, when we’re taught by parents, teachers, and media what is acceptable and unacceptable, what will get us love and what will get us disapproval or rejection.
As a result, we learn to suppress certain parts of ourselves (such as those which express anger, sexuality, vulnerability, pride) out of fear that showing them will prevent us from receiving love and acceptance. Those disowned aspects of our being come together to form what the eminent Swiss psychologist Carl Jung called “the shadow”. Our shadow follows us into adulthood, causing a range of inner and outer conflicts (particularly in relationships), until it is faced and integrated through shadow work.
WHAT IS SHADOW WORK?
Although our shadow sides are often witnessed by those around us, we ourselves are usually blind our shadow because of the intensity with which we fear, reject, and disapprove of it. The shadow tends to expose itself either in unexpected emotional outbursts or in our critical judgments of other people – and yet, often, we don’t recognize the presence of our shadow in these incidents. All we know is that afterwards, we feel humiliated, ashamed, or guilty, not to mention, confused.
Shadow work is any process that brings our shadow into the light of our awareness. It is any activity that makes the unconscious conscious, and the unacceptable acceptable.
One of the most effective ways to do shadow work is to look closely at our judgments of others. We often project onto others that which we reject in ourselves. So, a good question to ask yourself when confronted with someone you strongly dislike is: “What is it about that person that I can’t stand? What qualities or behaviors do they possess that are so unacceptable to me?”
WHY SHOULD I DO SHADOW WORK?
For anyone on the journey of spiritual and personal growth (and really, that’s everyone), shadow work is an indispensable part of the path. It is the place where we meet the parts of our being that we never acknowledged, understood, or accepted before. This opens the door for healing and invites us deeper into self-LOVE and compassion.
Only when we reclaim the disowned parts of ourselves can we become truly whole. Wholeness is our natural state, the state we are all in the process of moving back into. When we are whole, we radiate light, joy, and love…and it is reflected right back into our own experience!
To confront a person with his shadow is to show him his own light. — Carl Jung