Transmuting Intergenerational Trauma into Power with Family Constellations
The Significance of Ancestral Roots
Knowing our ancestral roots allows us to feel the fullness of who we are and better navigate where we are going. Through ancestral work we’re ale to transmute intergenerational trauma into power / energy / qi so that we may be free to create new realities (rather than repeat old patterns).
I imagine there was a time in history when our ancestral roots did not need to be intentionally “explored”, but were rather inherently known and felt from a young age due to the preservation of cultural traditions and multi-generational living. (For a dwindling number of people around the world, this inherent sense of connection to roots is, perhaps, still a reality.)
However, for many of us reading this . . . for varying reasons including migration and/or carrying the burden of heavy (and often hidden) family traumas . . . we struggle to know and feel our roots, to feel grounded in our bodies, to feel centered on our path, and to have a sense of belonging on the land on which we walk + within the diverse (and often virtual) communities we navigate.
Unresolved trauma within the individual and family system has a way of blunting one’s senses, creating confusion of time (so that one lives in the past or the future, rather than now), blurring boundaries of identity (so that one knows not, for example, what is “my” emotion and what is “yours”) and blocking access to inner knowledge and creative power.
Personally for me - a first-generation Chinese-American woman whose parents rarely spoke of the past or of their mother land, who grew up on TV dinners and boy bands, whose first language was English and not the native tongue of her ancestors, whose grandmothers died long before her birth, and whose childhood home felt like a emotional warzone at times - ancestral reconnection through Family Constellations has been absolutely vital to my healing journey.
By consciously connecting with my ancestral lineage (which at one point felt completely foreign to me), acknowledging who and what had not been previously acknowledged, bringing into my heart those who had been rejected or forgotten, and accepting my place in my family system, I’ve been able to re-member myself and cultivate strong roots from which to grow.
My 10-year (and ongoing) healing process has not required the active knowledge or participation of my biological family, and yet my relationships with them have significantly improved throughout this time.
The Basics of Family Constellations
If certain members of our family (especially in the past three generations) did not have the inner and outer resources to process the traumas and life challenges they lived through, the emotional and energetic imprints of their pain inevitably impact later generations.
In other words, our ancestral past is very much alive, influencing our lives, here and now, for better or worse.
The good news is, we can transmute the raw energy passed down through our bloodline into useable power - through conscious love, conscious awareness, forgiveness, and self-mastery.
Family Constellations is an energy-based modality that I’ve found to be helpful for this kind of transmutation, or healing. It works by restoring order (and therefore the flow of love) to the family system.
It was developed by a German man named Bert Hellinger in the 1970s. He had previously lived in South Africa for 16 years, observing the ways of the Zulu tribes, and saw that a key to healing and harmony within family and community systems is respect of the natural orders (see below).
Hellinger combined this understanding with elements of Gestalt therapy and psychodynamic therapy to create Family Constellations.
My teacher Svagito Liebermeister, who studied with Hellinger in the 1990s, further developed Family Constellations. He infused it with the spiritual principles and meditative practices of his teacher, Osho, to create Osho Family Constellations.
I trained with Svagito in Osho Family Constellations Levels 1 and 2 (140 hours) in Turkey and Spain in 2015-2016.
There are 3 major “laws” or “orders” that family systems are naturally oriented towards:
Order One
Parents are big. Children are small.
Parents give. Children receive.
Order Two
Everybody in a family belongs to the family.
No one may be left out.
Order Three
Everybody has to carry his own life, fate, and death.
How Orders Get Disrupted
When certain major life events (war, untimely death, illness, slavery, accidents, suicide, abortion, miscarriage, forced emigration, dramatic financial loss or gain) are not able to be processed in a healthy way due to a lack of emotional or material resources, they become traumas that continue to affect the individual and family.
In addition, even those who are not blood relatives, but who are in some other way strongly bonded to the family (such as perpetrators or victims, comrades in war, former partners) must be acknowledged and included in the family system - yes, even perceived “enemies” belong.
Trauma has the power to disrupt the natural order within families, and consequently, create suffering and contribute to issues such as illness, addiction, abuse, etc.
When trauma goes unresolved within a family, a child is often drawn to take on the giving / parenting role in place of the parent (and thus, the parent becomes like a child). This, of course, is not the natural order of things, and such role reversal leads to imbalance within the system.
Other times, a family member may attempt to take on the tragic fate of a member from the past who was rejected or forgotten. This is because the nature of a system is to INCLUDE ALL. Therefore, even when someone has been purposely left out or ostracized from the family, energetically their presence remains, and someone from a later generation will unconsciously attempt to include them by identifying with them (thus forfeiting their own unique destiny and repeating someone else’s).
Revealing Hidden Dynamics
The main technique involved in Family Constellations is to have other people from a group represent certain family members of an individual’s family. The representatives are placed within a set space, and through shared intention, the “energy field” of a family is re-created.
Without much talking, commenting, or guidance, the representatives of the individual’s family are guided by the energy field itself to move.
They move not according to previously known information or any specific intentions, but rather according to their own inner perception and spontaneous experience.
This movement (or non-movement, or posture/position) is what reveals a deeper truth about a family’s dynamics.
Simultaneously, representatives may also experience certain feelings, which often guide their physical movements within the field.
It is through observing a constellation and what it illustrates that the person may gain awareness and insights to support healing.
My teacher Svagito explains, “The uniqueness of this work is not only to uncover a destructive family dynamic, it also shows the underlying healing forces that strive towards more healthy relationships between family members and eventually can lead to a new, more natural balance for the whole system.”
Restoring Balance
With the support of Family Constellations, and any healing modality which expands awareness, offers acknowledgement, and seeks to include (such as through forgiveness), natural order or balance is restored, and the flow of love and vitality returns to the system - and to all members of that system.
Below are some spoken Healing Statements we use (in combination with Healing Movements) in Family Constellations to help restore balance:
Order One: Parents and children
I am your daughter / son.
You are big. I am small.
I take life in its fullness from you.
You are the right mother / father for me.
Order Two: Everyone belongs
Dear X, for today and all the days to come, I see you, I hear you, I recognize you.
I give you your place back in our family system.
You belong.
[Healing Movement: Bowing]
Order Three: Everyone carries their own fate
I respect you and the force that guides everything.
I honor your fate. I know that you are strong enough to carry it on your own.
Dear X (mother, father, grandmother, grandfather), please bless me if I have the courage to be happier than you.
I leave you now to your destiny, and I face mine.
[Healing Movement: Turning around and facing Life]
Thank you for reading!
If this work interests you, below are two opportunities to dive in together.
ANCESTOR DANCE (group workshop)
April 19, 2025 from 12:30-3:00pm
Abrons Arts Center @ 466 Grand Street, New York, NY 10002
This 2.5 hour in-depth, experiential workshop combines learning and practice of Family Constellations + free movement (inspired by 5Rhythms and Ecstatic Dance) + music.
Cost: Free - this workshop is supported by an arts grant from the Milman Foundation
Contact Stephanie Lyra to sign up - 2 spots left.
ANCESTRAL EMPOWERMENT (1:1 virtual or in-person session)
This 1.5 hour private session supports you in exploring the deeper, ancestral dimensions of a particular issue or challenge you are facing.
We explore through the lens of Family Constellations (your biological lineage, including the lands your family has lived on, past and present) and engage with your body/somatic wisdom, emotions, and intuition to arrive at fresh realizations and creative solutions.
The answers are truly within.
Pre-requisites: You’ll be asked to create a family genogram in preparation for the session. Written instructions will be provided.
Cost: $222
Contact Stephanie Lyra with questions or to schedule.
About Stephanie Lyra Lin:
Certified Life Coach, healer, Reiki Master, spiritual teacher
M.A. (2009) and M.Phil. (2011) Buddhism, Columbia University
My ancestral roots are in China and Taiwan, and in more recent generations, Hong Kong and the United States.
I was born and raised in NYC, and later lived and studied Chinese language, history, and spirituality in China and Taiwan for four years.
I was also received with love by Hawaii and Israel, living and learning there for six and half years total. I acknowledge the colonial past and war-torn present of these places, respectively, as well as history of the land on which I currently reside - Lower East Side, Manhattan - the traditional home of the Lenape people.
In Spain and Turkey (2015-2016), I trained in Osho Family Constellations Level 1 and 2 with Svagito Liebermeister, German student of Bert Hellinger (founder of Family Constellations) and disciple of the Indian mystic Osho.
Family Constellations, as well as freeform movement (5Rhythms and Ecstatic Dance), support and wisdom from therapists and plant medicine teachers, and women’s work have helped me heal lineage wounds and family rifts, allowing me to experience life with a more open heart.
I love sharing what I’ve been learning + co-creating spaces for deep healing and expansion of consciousness.
